I’m a night owl. Always have been, always will be - well, at least in spirit. There’s something magical about the quiet of the night, the late-night talk shows, and the way those disgustingly hoppy IPAs somehow taste less like liquid bitterness and more like “I could get used to this” after 11 PM. It’s just how I’m wired. I love getting stuff done when the rest of the world is snoozing, oblivious to my nocturnal productivity.
But, here’s the kicker: for the past 20 years, my job has rudely interrupted my natural circadian rhythm. I’ve been yanked from my comfy nighttime routine and thrust into the unforgiving world of morning radio. This means I’m up at the crack of 3:30 AM, greeting the darkness with bleary eyes and a sense of betrayal, only to collapse into bed by 8 PM. This natural night owl has been forcefully converted into an early bird.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Quit your whining, Jer. You’ve got one of the coolest jobs on the planet!” And yeah, I do. But trust me, if you were in my shoes, you’d miss those midnight wishes on shooting stars, too.
Anyway, enough of my lamenting - there’s actually a point to all this. Recently, I stumbled upon a study released for World Sleep Day, and it’s got me rethinking my grumpy attitude towards early mornings. This study basically told me that early risers are living their best lives, and I have to admit, I’m starting to see the light - literally.
According to this study, early risers make more money than night owls. Yeah, that’s right. Cha-ching! Cash money.
Oh, and get this - apparently, we early birds also have better sex lives. Cue the cheesy “bow-chicka-wow-wow” music because, according to this, I’m supposed to be getting lucky about three times a week. No wonder I’m always exhausted, right? (Just kidding, mostly.)
We early risers are also more likely to use social media, particularly the dreaded Facebook, although I’m more of an Instagram guy myself. You get your best doomscrolling in first thing in the morning!
We’re happily married, clean, organized, and love staying active. Yep, #HeartHealthy and all that jazz. It’s like a checklist of all the things that make you feel like you’ve got your life together—check, check, and check.
And here’s the real kicker: AM peeps are generally happier with their lives. Who knew that dragging yourself out of bed before the sun even considers rising could lead to a more positive outlook on life? It turns out that sacrificing those late nights out and getting up with the bunnies could actually put a little extra spring in your step, boost your mood, and make you feel pretty darn satisfied with your existence. Not too shabby.
So, yeah, maybe these groggy mornings aren’t so bad after all. Maybe waking up at the crack of dawn, grumbling all the way to the coffee pot, and waving goodbye to my nocturnal habits might actually be worth it.
If it means more cash, more fun, more booty, and more happiness, then I guess I can live with it. Who knows, I might even start to enjoy it - eventually.
Photography credit: Jeremy Padgett
